Funny Tombstone Inscriptions

Under the sod and under the trees,
lies the body of Jonathan Pease.
He is not here, there's only the pod.
Pease shelled out and went to God.

Reader, if cash thou art in want of any,
dig six feet deep and thou wilt find a Penny.

Here lies Johnny Yeast.
Pardon me for not rising.

Here lies an Atheist,
all dressed up and no place to go.

Looked up the elevator shaft to see if the
car was on the way down. It was.